The wisdom of Crash Facepalm!

Not that I'm always right, but I am certainly always entertaining!
If you could have ANY career, what would you want to be? Brought to you by our Pride designs at https://thepride.store 
Orbits First Law of Cat Mechanics brought to you by some killer shirts at https://the-complete-concellation.creator-spring.com 
I just smiled and pretended that I was waving at the other abyss nearby. Remember, 10% off with coupon code SUMMER21 at https://the-complete-concellation.creator-spring.com
I hope it's exciting!
What's your secret identity? Come on, you can tell, we're amongst friends! PS: Brought to you by our really cool pins (and our new patch)! https://www.concellation.com/store
Seems like a legit business opportunity, too! Brought to you by our killer shirts! https://the-complete-concellation.creator-spring.com
I guess I should start selling tickets? Maybe a free half hour for every pin you get at https://www.concellation.com/store?
No, Orbit, the wet food is NOT in the airlock! Brought to you by our cool-cat merch: https://www.concellation.com/store (pins! patches! shirts!)
I reject your kale reality and replace it with my own. Today's wisdom brought to you by our new pins and patches! https://www.concellation.com/pins 
The only real question is cappuccino or straight double shot of espresso?
Yesterday was strawberry. What's your favorite jell-o flavor?
I mean, really, does it even have to be said? What's your dead-obvious advice that's helped you through life? Brought to you by our killer merch! https://www.concellation.com/store 
Just give in and give 'em the wet food. It's going to happen, sooner or later.
I'm sure I will have going to have solved this problem next week.